“If I’m not yelling, you’re not in trouble”. A guide to feedback in the workplace.

As you read through this post, it might make it easier to think of how you’d treat your kids, nieces or nephews if they were working for you and asking for advice and feedback. Remember your own precious Millennial offspring is right now an employee of another Boomer, Xer, or Traditionalist, and probably driving the employer a little bonkers. Let’s look at how each generation likes to receive feedback in the workplace.

Traditionalists: For our Traditionalists, turning up the feedback could be a little painful. For the most part, our Traditionalists’ philosophy comes right out of the G.I. Generation’s military model of leadership where “No news is good news.” My father’s favorite saying was, “If I’m not yelling, you’re not in trouble.”

Baby Boomers: As the Baby Boomers entered the workforce, this “no news” approach wasn’t quite enough information. They had 80M peers/competitors with whom they were locked into a gladiator-style battle, and they were looking for a little more data on how they were doing. Boomers thought it was a huge success when they got the annual review instituted. Once a year, they sat down in a very formal, structured environment and learned from a manager armed with lots of documentation, stats, and data how they stacked up against their peers as well as their managers’ expectations.

Gen Xers: This generation’s members definitely appreciate the bottom- line of facts and data, but given their latchkey childhood, the limited amount of time with adults in their formative years, and the lack of mentorship support early in their careers, Xers can feel a little neurotic about their professional performance. So they will say, “Once a year is not quite enough.” Xers prefer to have immediate feedback tied directly to their performance. Xers see right through phoniness and it grates on their nerves like a personal attack. A common scenario for a great Xer feedback moment is right after a meeting where the Xer presented a pitch.
Immediately, the Xer might stop his Boomer boss and say, “Excuse me; I’m sorry to interrupt, but how did I do in that meeting?” The Boomer boss may respond, “Whoa, whoa, whoa, give me some time to collect my thoughts and write them down. Let’s do this right. I want to be sitting in an office at a formal desk with you on the other side of the desk.” Meanwhile, the Xer is saying, “It doesn’t have to be formal or final; just give me your impressions, off the cuff, from the gut, but be honest with me. None of that, you know, corporate speak, or fluffy stuff. I want you to be straight. How I am doing?” For Xers, the more you make feedback vivid—specific with no puffery and no fluff—the better. If you are beginning to get uncomfortable and think you can never keep up with all these feedback needs, brace yourself for the Millennials.

Millennials: Millennials’ parents gently corrected them through “teachable moments” when they needed it, but praised and cheered for them at all other times. New language designed to support the development of their Millennials’ self-esteem focused on enhancing performance through upbeat messaging. Millennials’ parents and teachers encouraged them to shoot for the stars and give it their best.Instead of referring to their performance as making errors or mistakes, parents and teachers didn’t tell Millennials they got the answer
wrong; rather, they said, “You almost got it right, and this is what you can do to make it better (or more right).” When Millennials do not receive what they feel to be sufficient feedback, they feel a little bit like they are playing a game of “Blind Man’s Bluff” where they have been blindfolded, led into the workforce, and asked to perform a task without sufficient information. They are used to feeling their way forward, but without the verbal feedback of people they respect and admire, they are casting about, drifting about, wandering about without clarity on what’s next. Their steps become faltering. They reach out and feel unstable and shaky. They need to receive cues and directions on how they are doing. Otherwise, they are completely disoriented in your workplace. Just remember, it needs to begin with what they did right!

Generationally Savvy Solution: MORE—LESS—KEEP: The first place to begin addressing the need of Millenials for more feedback is to focus on the tone, frequency, and style you deliver needed ongoing feedback. The operative word in the previous sentence is “ongoing.” I know that providing ongoing feedback can be a source of frustration for many Traditionalist and Baby Boomer leaders as well as some Xers, but more feedback is needed than you are probably currently comfortable giving.
Training your leaders from the top down and the bottom up can be done through a simple practice called “More-Less-Keep.”

The basic framework of this practice is to start with MORE: what the team member is doing right. (Most of us respond best when we hear an authentic reflection of what we have done well, so this works for more than just Millennials.) You need to reflect on where the employee is already being successful or productive and let him know you want him to do MORE of the same in those areas.

Next, you move to LESS: the area where the employee needs performance improvement or correction. Here you give constructive advice on what you want the employee to do LESS of or stop doing altogether.

You finish up the interaction with KEEP: something that is working well exactly at the employee’s pace and how he or she is currently executing it.

BONUS: This process works well for Boomers and Xers too! Everyone likes to hear the positive, yet 65 percent of employees report never hearing positive feedback in the workplace. As simple as this method is, it’s not easy for many managers and leaders to retrain themselves. Often, managers want to go directly to
what doesn’t work and stay there. For Millennials, specifically, this focus is abrasive and often shuts them down entirely from hearing the constructive side. Instead, they hear “You don’t like me.”
One of the most important and vital tools of leadership is the capacity to deliver authentic and frequent feedback in a way that matches the Generational CODES of a team member, colleague, or customer. Mastering the art of giving feedback based on a person’s’ Generational CODES will ensure that you retain both customers and employees.

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